Fantasy surfing has always been a slog fest. It’s confusing and boring and deals in points like an eastern European country does currency. I don’t need thousands of points and why does my final score always have a .18 on it???
I don’t want that. And I don’t want to deal with different tiers and power surfers and changing my lineup after the early rounds. I just want fantasy surfing to be straightforward, fun, and a great ROI.
Wait a second. That sounds exactly like what we offer. I mean, we’re selling top-of-the-line, superstretch, limestone-based neoprene $500 wetsuits for $200. Value through the roof, packed chock full of quality so that you don’t have skimp on the fun. How? We’ve cut the middle-man clear out. You know exactly who you’re dealing with. You’re literally dealing with Stevie.
And now he’s going to save fantasy surfing?! Tell me more.
It’s called Surfival League and it’s straightforward, fun, and quality.
And Stevie invented it?
Well, no, but he knows a good thing when he sees one – as evidenced in his enormous warehouse full of high-quality surf gear and products that he sells for half the price of most competitors.
Quality check here. Go for it.
Stevie didn’t create Surfival League, but now he’s sweetening the pot for the winner(s).
Here are the rules:
- Pick one surfer to advance past the round of 32
- If they advance, you advance
- You can only pick each surfer once
- Last person standing wins it all
After 3 events (Pipe, Sunset, Portugal), it’s been an absolute bloodbath with 78% of the original Surfival League eliminated. I chose Kelly at Pipe, which is usually a sure thing, but the waves did not provide. and I was out after one event.
Last year, I made it all the way Bells and chose Jordy Smith, but after an un-called interference on Jackson Baker I was struck down by the Surfival Gods.
I can only blame myself. I must have done something to upset them. They are fickle. They are merciless.
Yet they are benevolent…
Because of the massive culling this year, the Gods, for the first time ever, have decided to launch a “Second-Chance” Surfival League and it starts at Bells.
Winner gets $1k, 1 Panda surfboard, and a Ho Stevie! wetsuit.
$20 to play. Just twenty bones for a chance at glory!
Last year a butcher from Bondi Beach won it all. Not only did he donate $1k of his winnings to Save the Waves Coalition, but he also gave us all some sage butchery advice, “Don’t go for the pre-marinated meats!”
Second Chance Surfival League sign-ups are open for business. Who are you going to pick?
I just have one question for you: Have you heard of the Colapinto curse!?!?!